Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I, weasel

There are things I do not like in myself. Perhaps the most despicable thing about me is my utter unreliability towards those I love. I had grown up thinking that I would always stay with my mum and take care of her. A few years ago, I felt shuttered in and eventually ran away, metaphorically and literally speaking.

My sis and my niece are two people I utterly love, who I want to spend more time with, but don’t. This time, I was in Pune for one precious evening during which my niece smothered me with kisses and painted my nails ‘because you have a meeting’. I was almost in tears as she painstakingly, inexpertly applied sparkly pink to my fingernails. But early the next morning, while she slept, I went away.

And now the little child I teach. We might not have made much progress in English, but we have become great friends. As I plan for the winter, I feel regret at leaving her, but that is overshadowed by excitement. And yesterday, because my travels for the last few weeks have not let us meet, she sent me this through her dad.

In a month, while she sleeps, I will go away.

1 comment:

nadi said...

WEASEL ???? !!? i know i know- to keep the personal out etc
But want to register my protest.
A few months ago, her mother moved into her new house. Not local friends, not the daughter who lives comparatively closer, but this writer came down from Dehra Dun to Sawantwadi (near Goa), shifted things, furniture- actually shifted it physically.
Got everything from a cable connection to a water harvest system in place.
Participated in a religious ceremony because it made mother happy.
Two years ago, the writer's sister was terribly hurt about something and almost on the verge of-- well, some neurotic thing. It was 2 AM. Drunk, she called not friends who live in Pune, not husband , but this writer. As she usually does.
The neice loves her. The neice's mother is proud that this child has a rol model in the writer. Someone who lives independently, is brave in her work, and is a dependable person.
What she has done for this girl she teaches, the commited way in which she has changed her life, I will not even talk about. The writer is loathe to any praise.
If you didn't go away when they were sleeping, they would never let you go.
Never wake up, stronger after knowing you. To try and be strong be like you. Knowing you are always there for them.
for us

The sky is blue
and we love you.