Thursday, August 2, 2012

Home sick

I need home, I have realised. Being with family is the most important thing, of course. But it is not enough for me. I need the actual physical being home. It is hard not to judge myself, not to scold myself and say that I am being greedy.
I came home with a sprained ankle, and with one thing and  another, have only been there a couple of times in the last week and a half. Most of the time, I am at Sonapani. And I don't like it. And I don't know why.
I should be supremely happy here. I am among family and friends, in a  place where I am loved and that I consider another home. The area is stunning with D's carefully planned garden. Even as far as amenities go, the internet works well enough here for me to stream Star Trek episodes, there is running hot water, and I am served the most delicious food.
On the other hand, home is leaking, internet and phone only work sporadically, and food is limited to grains and preserved things.
And I still want to be there. Soon, soon.