Thursday, December 31, 2009

whew..

A few days ago, I had commented grumpily to M.

"I can't wait for this year to be over" I had said.

Last night when I realised that this year IS actually going to be over, I regretted my statement. 2009 has been a wonderful adventure- and growth- filled year for me.

If this year had to have a theme, it would be The Year of the Gift. Over and over again, I was reminded that the gifts we are given surpass the ones that we want for ourselves.

I hadn't planned on spending a week in Bhagirathi, or on driving along the Ganga. I hadn't dared to hope that Seattle and Pune friendships would continue in Dun. I hadn't dared to ask for more in my relationships. I hadn't planned on having more than the absolute basics when it came to a house. And I was given so much- all that I had not dared to hope for and more than I could even imagine.

I travelled. My friends and family visited me, going far out of their way to come to my corner of the world. The One and I are now setting up home, visiting our families, exploring kayda-kanoon. Our house has plentiful counterspace, a view of the Mussoorie hills, a balcony, and a terrace where we plan to grow herbs.

It wasn't all perfect, of course. More than once, I fell with a resounding splat. Two such failures, one each at work and life, haunt me and I will have to scramble at damage control in 2010.

But enough loveliness and magic and happy adventures happened for me to confidently repeat Dag Hammersk├Âld's assertion:
"For all that has been, thanks.
For all that will be, yes."



Incidentally, I first came across Dag-jee on the 2009 LRF calendar, and his words stayed with me all year. A saying of his that I aspire to?
"Life only demands from you the strength that you possess. 
Only one feat is possible; not to run away."

I have run away far too often. Among the many gifts I have received are several fresh starts. Those were not enough, because I took those for granted. Now, I say enough. No more running away.


My big learning this year is that the things we ask for are far less than is actually possible. So I will not take the liberty of imposing limited wishes on you this year. But tell me, what have you learnt? what do you want to learn?

3 comments:

nadi said...

you have to ask yourself-
did you really RUN away?

from what little i have experienced,

sometimes it is necessary to WALK away.


phew!
preachy, that.

anyway, here's hoping the new year will fill that counterspace with lots of peace and love.

Tara said...

:) What a beautiful post! And such a timely prayer (permit me to call it that), that Dag-jee one :)
Here's hoping that 2010 will be absolutely spectacular for you. Muah!

Anonymous said...

your posts are always filled with so much light and love..this one is positively luminous..
may you always stay as fine tuned to life as you are..and a wordless prayer for the new year..