Monday, October 11, 2010

Am depressed

Back home, my sister thinks I am fighting the good fight and saving rivers. In reality, am utterly ineffectual.

I am at work right now, and my colleague has asked me for help designing a dam. It is small, but on the main drain of a catchment area. Worse, the amount of water stored does not justify the damming of a river. Even worser, the dam is most likely on a Mahseer run where hundreds of fish swim upstream to lay their eggs. Next year, they will find their way blocked by concrete. Unable to comprehend the futility of their desires, they will continue to batter against an unyielding obstacle until finally, they die.

I ask my colleague, 'do you know that there is a very strong probability that the stream is a fish run? Where Mahseer come to lay eggs? That you are blocking their access? That they will DIE?'
He stares at me uncomprehendingly.
I try another tack, 'It is doubtful that the dam will justify its cost'
'The villagers asked for it', he says, irritated at the turn the conversation has taken.
'so what?' I persist 'did they hold a gun to your head that you cannot refuse?'
He laughs at the crazy woman.

When in Himachal, I did that..I negotiated my way out of just such a dam. But now I am powerless and sad. There's more. At one level, there is my 1.5m high Mahseer-killer. At another level altogether, there's this. Jairam's professional ethics are being labelled his 'whims'.

I want a blanky to hide under.

4 comments:

Unmana said...

This is so sad. Easy for those of us leading easy lives to ask you to keep trying. You make me feel at once glad - that someone is doing what I dare not - and ashamed.

All the best, chicu.

nadi said...

dear 'the crazy woman',

fight.
stand strong.

even if you have to do some, things that are aginst your nature, your principles, your concerns
the day will come when you will have more power to decide.

the world can't suppress a good person for too long.

please stay strong.

under my blanky, i will pray for your mahseer.

i will pray that they find a place to lay their eggs.

for you-
No blanky
only walking shoes

Tara said...

Chicu, I'm with Nadi and Unmana on this one.
No blanky. Kick up a storm.

दीपा पाठक said...

चीकू, दुनिया में पुल बना कर अपने घरों में पैसों की नदी बहाने वालों की कमी नहीं है, लेकिन माहसीर की चिंता करने वाले बस गिने-चुने, वो भी अगर हार मान जाएंगे तो क्या होगा? इसलिए लगे रहो....कभी न कभी कुछ न कुछ तो होगा...नहीं भी हुआ तो कम से कम यह अफसोस तो नहीं रहेगा कि हमने आवाज़ तक नहीं उठाई!!